I have a friend who swears the way most people would use a comma. When she's around me and suddenly becomes aware of her swearing she feels the need to apologize. Knowing I'm a Christian she believes it offends me. I actually don't notice her swearing. Nor do I care. It's kinda cute really.
Which begs the question, why do we as a church (especially) generally believe certain words to be bad?
“But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” - Colossians 3:8 (NIV)
I think it's important we differentiate using a swear word from 'swearing'. There isn't much innately wrong with a swear word. The heart of swearing, the reason it's offensive is because it's been allied to wrath, impatience, frustration and insult. Swear words have become affiliated with these because of how they've been used down the ages. Using one of these words doesn't have to be inherently offensive, but the way you use it might.
If people started saying 'fluffy bunnies' in angry response, maybe it too could become a swear word. If used consistently and adopted by wider culture, perhaps the world at large would know the phrase 'fluffy bunnies' to be offensive.
I should hope nobody thinks I'm implying the liberal use of swearing is a good idea. There are better words to use and it's not particularly articulate. I use to swear at everything. Just for gigs and shiggles. I was pretty good at it too, but I gave up a few years ago - much to the lament of my friends. I found myself an angry person doing it and it wasn't worth the detriment of my character. Which is a shame 'cause swearing can make things funnier. Maybe it's the novelty, or maybe it's how the words sound. Regardless there are more skilful ways to induce comedy.
I've come to learn though that a swear word can be just like any other. A word isn't bad in itself because a 'u', k', 'c' and 'f' are arranged in certain order - rather from the malice they've been abused with, the malice we've connected it to.
I'm not against swear words, what I am against is the legalism that taboos them in absolute. It strikes me as absent from the redemption and freedom that Christ offers to our lives.
So the next time someone drops one from the pulpit, whether it's tacky or warranted, pointless or meaningful - look past the word and rather at the heart of what they're saying.
I appreciate the sentiment that legalism about swearing isn't good - it can be nit-picky when there are bigger battles to be fought, and yeah, when we get up in arms about issues like this it sure does make us look a little immature...
ReplyDeleteBut is the redemption Christ offers us is the chance to swear? Is the freedom Christ offers us the ability to say the 'f' word?
That's where you lose me. It sounds similar to the freedom we have to drink, to watch risky movies, to be 'badass Christians'... I think we've developed a pretty unhealthy understanding of freedom, one that matches the 21st century freedom of the West, and not the freedom Jesus spoke of. Our freedom is a freedom FROM things. We view freedom as being released from rules, morals and expectations. In line with that, yeah screw it, let's swear and let 'em know we're free!
But I can't help but wonder if the freedom Jesus speaks of is a freedom TO something. Jesus didn't come to abolish the laws of the Jews - he came to fulfil them. And so in Jesus we find our freedom, which is to be conformed to his likeness, to be led by the Holy Spirit, who guides us into an ever more wonderful obedience to the Father! Conforming, being led, obedience... They sound like pretty oppressive words to my 21st century mind, but I wonder if these better resemble the words Jesus might have associated with freedom and redemption.
And yes, at times this freedom may lead us to be controversial - even to swear. But the redemption Christ bought us in his death on the cross isn't our freedom to swear... It's our freedom to be Spirit-led, Christlike-conforming God obeyers!
Some good points guys. I understand the point you are making, Ben, about looking behind the word at what is in the heart, or what the motivation is for using that language. To refer back to your friend who kindly and thoughtfully apologizes for swearing in front of you (demonstrating a sensitive spirit)- Why not encourage her sensitivity by thanking her for apologizing? Wouldn't that be better (for her) than enabling her to continue holding on to the things in her heart that bring that language to the surface in the first place. When we acknowledge a symptom don't we also begin to address the cause? If I sneeze or cough and start to get a sore throat and ignore it, I suffer the consequences for the next week or so. If I address the cause, by gargling some salt dissolved in warm water, I can often avoid the pain and discomfort that follows.
ReplyDeleteMy point is that as Christians we often become so inward looking (should I or shouldn't I be offended, should I leave the room or just laugh it off and be one of the boys etc. etc.) that we forget that we are meant to be the salt of the earth. We can use these opportunities to minister to others can't we? When I have had the courage to do so I have explained to those who apologize to me for their language that I am uncomfortable - but not in the way that they think. I try to explain that the discomfort I feel is because I believe that the words that we use give away something that we are dealing with on the inside - ie. contempt, frustration etc - sometimes the HS will nail it exactly and you will really have their attention. Anyway - if the moment allows, I try to express to these friends that my concern (discomfort, offense) is for them. In other words, I personally don't find it cute. I find it disturbing and I think, if the friend is sensitive enough to apologize then they are wise enough to receive some well framed scriptural wisdom (salt in the water:)that could change their lives.
Elliot: I would definitely say that Christ's redemption is as you describe it, but I feel you've taken the article in a direction I wasn't trying to imply or intend. Feel free to disagree, but I feel God's freedom penetrates more than just the larger picture of humanity's redemption - but also finds itself in the smaller things that effect peoples' lives and attitudes. Whether that be social injustice, or unhelpful thinking.
ReplyDeleteTony: I'll have to give that a shot when the chance arises. Might break down some barriers.
What I find 'cute' I suppose is that she seems to think the words themselves offend me - but the frustration and such that come forth from her speech, that would give me reason for 'offense' or concern in the way you describe.
Totally agree about our redemption in Christ being about the little things as well as the broad sweep of humanity! That's a really awesome point, and I like that you say it should include redeeming unhelpful thinking. I agree that legalism is unhelpful thinking, but I also struggle with the unhelpful thinking that our freedom is freedom from morals and living in a godly manner. We're so concerned these days to live in a way that 'makes us happy', that tolerates everyone for who they are, and in which we have the right to do what we like, like swearing...
DeleteThat's not the way I see redemption and freedom though. I think in (rightly) forsaking Pharisaical legalism, which sees redemption in our own strict obedience to the law (and causes our unloving judgement of others), we've tossed out the need for obedience and right living altogether. The Pharisees got it wrong because the law and their own self-righteousness became their god. But the law itself wasn't such a bad thing - just read Psalm 19! God gave the Israelites the laws because they're his people, and he wanted them to be able to faithfully love and serve him - what an awesome and freeing thing, that the God who created the universe wanted to have relationship with his creation!
And so I think the unhelpful thinking we have is that Jesus came to get rid of a right way of living, and that we're now free to just tolerate others and not care about morals. I think it's the opposite though: Jesus came to show us what a faithful and obedient life looks like, and to pour out his Spirit on us that we might continually grow in that way of living! This isn't legalistic, because it begins in grace and continues in love - the grace that we get know God, and the love that we get become more and more like Jesus (which is a radically loving, not radically tolerating thing).
Ok, I'm aware I've gone way off the point you were trying to make now! Sorry about that. I guess the topic of being ok with swearing got me going on this broader topic of freedom and redemption! I think maybe what I'm saying compliments rather than disagrees with what you're saying though :) Cheers Ben!
Sorry for butting in again,
DeleteHi Elliot, so are you saying, which is how I interpret Jesus teaching (although I'm an atheist i do believe there was a man called Jesus and I do agree with some of his teachings) that Jesus talks about free will so its up to the individual to choose how they live and be responsible for their own choices. Yes you can remind each other of the rules but everyone should make their own choices and we should not criticise the choices people make as its their own choice but rather focus on trying to make good choices yourself.
I personally think leading by example rather than tyranny is always a better way to go, although I acknowledge I have plenty of room for improvement. I think criticising people for their actions just gets their back up and they tend to go on the defensive and often retaliate by attack.
Only when you know a person quite well and they feel they know and trust you well enough to know you are coming from a good place and in a position of understanding who they are as a person is it acceptable to express such opinions without the risk of offence being taken and motives misunderstood.
Hey Atheists Unite!
DeleteYep, totally agree about the free will call - I think that's the grace of God, that he would have us choose to live in his loving embrace, rather than forcefully smothering us in it (and making it unloving). Luke 15:11-32 speaks about that stuff.
But what I'm saying here is, I think true freedom isn't being free to do what we want, but that when we respond to Jesus in faith (in free will), and we say his ways are better than our own, then we find real freedom! Which I think sounds kind of funny - that our freedom is found in obeying some dude. But from the perspective of living in God's loving embrace, I see this as the ultimate freedom, because I'm secure in his grace and free to love (as opposed to tolerate) people as they are.
How does that sound?
I'm pretty sure I understand, it's like a good boss who people go the extra mile for because he's fair and treats them well, his staff genuinely like him so if there's a deadline they work hard to meat it. Or the teacher that inspires so students find lessons interesting and want to please. I agree with this, I don't agree with rule by force at all. I'm a people person believe in finding ways of bringing the best out of people. Whatever and however that may be. I believe everyone has something of value to contribute to society and encourage them in doing so.
DeleteI'm a great believer in treating people as individuals, I don't agree with the one size fits all attitude, everyone has different needs, abilities, ways of learning and so on. You may see someone and think their life is a bit of a mess but learn their story and you may be amazed at well they hold life together considering the huge obstacles they have overcome.
I don't think it's good to criticise others or to presume to know what's best for someone. I think it's better to accept people as they are. Respect is earned and people only really accept advice from people they trust and respect.
A good example.
DeletePut yourself in the shoes of a person who was neglected and abused as a child and was thrown out onto the streets at the age of 17 to fend for themselves. This is a person who struggled without any love or support practically prom the moment they were born. This person has had to put all their energy into just being able to cope with life. By the age of 20 they rent a grotty flat, have a handful of positions and a dead end low paying job. They have a couple of friends and get drunk or smoke pot from time to time. They are actually a very hard working honest person who despite their struggles manages to have a laugh from time to time. In fact at times it's being able to have a few drinks and a few laughs that's kept them going.
Imagine being that person and in front of you is someone who grew up in a secure, happy, supportive family who helped and encouraged them all their lives. They were able to study, go to uni, find a decent job, received help from parents and generally had a good start in life. Imagine that person asking you why you drink and acting as a person of authority towards you suggesting there are better ways in life. You think to yourself, what the f*** would this person know about dealing with my problems, he's living on a different planet, let him walk a few miles in my shoes then tell me now to live. I'd like to see him do better.
I don't think it's about following rules, I think it's about making the most of what you have and what you've achieved rather than where you are in life.
I like that example, I think it's a good point about not judging - it's true that we don't know what someone's been through unless we know them really well.
DeleteWhat I'm saying about this, and specifically about the topic of swearing, though, is that in Jesus our freedom is to do more than just tolerate people for what they do (be it speaking crassly or being addicted to drugs). I think the idea of 'tolerating' someone is actually really horrible. To me it seems to say not that we accept them as they are, but we just don't give a toss about them. I think a properly Christian response isn't to tolerate people who behave negatively, but to truly get alongside them in loving friendship/partnership, and to care about who they are and what they do - to give a toss!
I agree, it's great when people who've been handed a bad lot in life do better than what might be expected of them (as in your example). But I don't think that means we say 'great, well that's good enough then,' and excuse ourselves from caring. If someone's addicted to drugs or is getting drunk every weekend, I want to accept that person in their drugged up/drunkenness, but I also want to say I think there's a better life for them than that, and be a part of the hopeful solution. I think that's what Tony might have been saying too.
I think there's a really strong difference between not judging and tolerating. Totally agree, let's not judge - not up to us. But let's not simply tolerate either - that's a hopeless and uncaring response.
I really don't see much harm in someone smoking pot and getting drunk from time to time if it helps them get through life. Of course if they were doing it every week I would consider it a problem or it it was affecting their life or someone else, I would try to help them, same if they have any other problem they were struggling with. I wouldn't consider the odd occasion a problem and I certainly wouldn't consider swearing now and then a problem as it doesn't harm anyone.
DeleteI personally choose not to swear, although I have let slip on the odd occasion. I certainly make it an issue as I believe it's imposing my personal values on someone else. I tend to see past people's packaging and if they are good, honest, down to earth people, being who they are, then that's good enough for me. I can look past the odd differences. I see swearing as trivia, I'm not perfect, my friends are the type of people who look past imperfections, even embrace some of them. That's why they are my friends. That's what friendship is about. Don't sweat the small stuff, there are important things to deal with.
I'm sorry but if I did swear and a friend questioned me about it, my attitude would be, " this is me, accept me as I am, I'm not forcing you to stay around". If they want me to accept their imperfections, they must be willing to accept mine, works both ways. I would think that friend has an annoying habit of being picky over people's behaviour and pointing out what they consider not acceptable to them.
Should I have a word with them and point out how annoying and self righteous some people think they are or just ignore.
I think there is a difference between helping someone and imposing.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delete* Meant to say "I certainly wouldn't make an issue of it*
DeleteWhy do you think swearing is an issue ?
Elliot,
DeleteI think we are different people, perhaps life experiences have given us different points of view. I don't see questioning someone on why they swear as being helpful. While you see tolerating people as they are as being horrible, sometimes people need to be tolerated as they are. Maybe who they are at that moment in time is the best they can be for now. Life is a long hard slog for some people, yes there may be something better than what they have now, but it takes a huge amount of time and energy to get there. Sometimes people need to rest where they are for a while,sometimes there are set backs.
What we experience gives us different perspective, priorities, wants and needs. Some people you will never be able to fully understand or know how to deal with their needs simply because their life has been about something you know nothing about so you can't understand. For example, to question someone about their swearing who you know is struggling to give up drugs or coping with abuse will probably annoy them because they have bigger problems to deal with right now of a much higher priority. They may be at breaking point and someone questioning their swearing may just be the straw that breaks the donkeys back.
Much better to praise them for how far they've come than to point out how far they have to go.
Sometimes the best way to help is to tolerate who people are at this point in time. Reminding them of the imperfections they still have can sometimes reinforce the shame they have been made to feel for who they are.
I guess it takes someone who's been there to understand where some people are coming from.
Hey AU, are you ok ?
DeleteYou sound like you may have experienced some hard times yourself. If you want I can give you my email if you ever want to talk in private.
nickyt2@outlook.com if you ever want to discuss anythi
DeleteYep, I've been there. Come through the other side now and all good.
DeleteThanks for the offer, you never know, I nay take you up on it one day.
It's very kind and thoughtful of you to offer.
No worries, any time.
DeleteI will warn you though, I don't believe in God and encourage people to help themselves in their own strength.
Sounds like we're on the same page.
DeleteSorry guys for jumping in on your conversation but just had to respond to Tony Dye here.
ReplyDeleteTony, do you realise just how patronising and arrogant it would come across as if Ben lectured this girl I his views about why she shouldn't aware according to what Christians believe.
First off, she is not a Christian so as such the rules Christians choose to live by don't apply to her. She is free to live by her own standards.
Secondly, she is showing respect for who Ben is and what he believes by the fact she is apologising for something she thinks he may find offensive. He is free accept her apology or explain his thoughts to her but I don't think it right and proper to impose his beliefs on her. This would not be respectful of who she is and what she believes. It would be rather arrogant to think she should live according to your beliefs when she does not hold those beliefs herself.
It would only be appropriate if she shared your beliefs and was also living according to them.
It often doesn't come across as Christians being "the salt of the earth" when your not a Christian but rather Christians being pushy and intolerance with a lack of respect for others and their beliefs.
When you look at some of problems and issues going on in the world today, specially within some Islamic countries, and some of the friction shown over the same sex marriage, pushing ones point over something as trivial as swearing really would make Ben look intolerant and petty. A lot of attitudes would be "accept me as I am or go away, if the people you are with don't accept you as you are, then your with the wrong people"
Just pointing out the perspective a lot of people have from the other side of the fence. If she's a good person, does it really matter if she swears
Forgot to say....
ReplyDeleteEven when I was a Christian (just for a few years) I hated going to church because of the people who constantly told me how to live my life (none of whom knew me so had no idea of how I actually did live) picked fault with what they presumed I was doing (in most cases they were wrong) even though they did many of these things themselves (guess they thought because they did or didn't do it themselves then I must to) over many issues the church couldn't make it's mind up over anyway.
To me it was all a sham and I couldn't see the point of it, plus the people came across as so judgemental and hypocritical I couldn't cope with being around them anymore as it was starting to rub off on me and that's not who I am or what I want to be.
Years ago I would never have written this as I wouldn't have thought it any of my business and would have been happy to just let everyone just get on with their life. Now after years of trying to defend myself to people who judged, accused me and found me guilty of things I never did without even bothering to get to know me and find out the truth, I feel compelled to point out to people like you, just how much what you do can affect some people and let you know that trivial knit picking all the time just drives people away and makes you look bad.
The poor girl is probably a very stable young lady with no major psychological problems and probably just swears out of habit because lots of people around her do. Leave her alone and respect who she is dont give her issues she doesn't have and let her be.
Didn't Jesus accept people for whoever and whatever they are, you should listen to him and do the same. If the girl ever wants to change it will be because she wants to not because someone told her to.
When I was young I swore a lot because loads of kids my age did. It became a habit that lasted about ten years. Then most of us realised it wasn't such a good image and stopped. It's a phase a large number of people go through and grow out of. Not worth making an issue of I assure you.
ReplyDeleteHi AU - thanks for your comments. Yes, I agree, it would appear patronizing and even arrogant if Ben was to lecture his friend on why she shouldn't swear. I also agree with you that he is free to (and I think should) accept her apology and explain his thoughts to her. In fact, that is the crux of what I said. So I think you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick since it seems to me we are in agreement.
ReplyDeletePlease read again what I wrote. I did not say he should impose his beliefs on her (though I think all people should be able to share their beliefs - after all that is what you have just done and I certainly don't feel like you are imposing anything on me)nor did I say he should expect her to live by a set of rules (by the way - you misunderstand Christianity if you believe that it is really about living by a set of rules)nor did I say that he should tell her to live by his beliefs.
Once again - what I said in a nutshell was, if she is sensitive enough to apologize for a perceived offense - why not accept her apology. And if Ben finds himself in a situation where she is open enough to receive an explanation from him about what he thinks are the typical causes or motivations for our language, why not discuss that with her (as he has discussed it in this blog).
By the way, I have spoken to several of my secular friends about this when they have apologized to me and have never been accused of being patronizing or arrogant. They respect my belief that internal conflicts such as ongoing anger and frustration lead to ongoing swearing etc. And they often agree with me. Then again, I don't really mix with people who hold a double standard with regards to anyone (whether Christian or atheist) being able to share what we believe.
Also - just to bring a bit more clarity. In the third paragraph of your second comment you are guilty of doing exactly the same thing to me that you so abhor in others, as mentioned in your first two paragraphs. You 'do not know me and have no idea of how I actually live' and yet you 'feel compelled to point out to me (people like me)how I affect some people, through trivial nit picking'. Then, after accusing me of being one of those people who tell others how to live you tell me at the end of your reply how I should live. Perhaps since you misunderstood my comments or misread them due to your perception of Christians you where not thinking clearly. However if you actually mean what you have written it should be obvious that your own words backfire on you.
Tony, I apologise for my double standards, as you are talking about what it is that causes people to do things such as swear, perhaps its a continuation of anger, I shall take the liberty of explaining my actions.
ReplyDeleteI myself got so angry and frustrated at the constant criticism of people's behaviour. The continual being put down for not being totally righteous and having my reasons questioned for everything I did and being judged for everything I did, eventually lowered my self esteem, made me unsure of myself and feel I had to justify myself and my actions all the time. This all had a rather negative affect on me. I went from being a happy reasonably confident person who enjoyed life, to being a miserable person with low self esteem who was very frustrated and having anger issues.
Thankfully I left the church (an experience I'm never willing to go through again) and started spending more time with people who accepted me as I am, recognise, praise and encourage the good in me who are willing to actually spend time getting to know me the person and become part of my life on a personal level rather than just dictate from afar who I should be and how I should live.
Unfortunately this took its toll on me and as I said, I'm no longer quite as easy going as I was. It left me with a lot of anger towards Christians. I know its wrong and I working on it. I'm not as bad as I used to be and I know its a problem so I'm working on it. I guess time will heal and maybe if I came across a few who show me not all are like that, it would help change my view as well.
So I apologise for letting my anger get the better of me.
By the way, do you really think swearing is such a big issue that you need to ask people why they do it. It's questioning how they live.
May I be so bold as to ask why would you question someone's motives for swearing ?
Hi AU, I am sorry that you have had such a bad experience of Christians at Church - if I felt that way at Church I would probably leave too. I hope that the behaviour of some Christians doesn't deter you from the questioning or being open to God though. While the actions of Christians should reflect the nature of God they often don't - mine included. But that doesn't change who God is and what He offers.
DeleteThank you for apologising, and for sharing your views.
To answer your question - no, I don't think swearing is a really big issue when I encounter it in my conversations, though I do wish more people had the guts to address it in an appropriate way when it is deliberately used to be offensive or when it is done in front of kids. I only discuss it with friends and only raise it if they raise it first by either apologising (as Ben's friend did) or admitting they do it too much etc. So on the odd occasion when that happens I am not really questioning them, I am just discussing something we are both comfortable discussing.
I agree with you that there can be all kinds of motives for swearing but I know that I am more likely to do it when I am deeply frustrated or angry about something - so honestly looking at the motive helps me to resolve the deeper issue. As I said, my friends who have discussed this with me generally agree so I think there is real evidence to support the idea that the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. So swearing may not be such a biggie but what is going on for a friend on the inside maybe.
Hope that helps explain where I am coming from.
TD
Thanks Tony,
DeleteI take people as I find them, not keen on preconceptions and name tags.
I stopped believing there was a God a few years ago now. Guess I'm what you might call a free wondering spirit. I kind of like it that way. Much better than trying to fit where you don't belong.
I see myself more as being part of the universe rather than belonging to a group within it.
AU, why on earth are you apologizing ?
ReplyDeleteOf course Tony is being patronizing, he talks about "wouldn't it be better for her to talk bout the things in her heart that bring about that language" he makes me want to swear with anger myself talking about Christians are meant to be the salt of the earth and that if friends are sensitive enough to apologize they are wise enough to hear some scriptural wisdom.
If that's not suggesting the girl has a problem because she swears and low and behold his magic scripture holds the answers to cure her I don't know what is.
Of course he'd telling Ben to use the swearing as an opportunity to evangelize by suggesting she has a problem the bible can fix.
Of course that's patronizing.
How bloody sheltered have their lives been if they have to discuss what to do when they hear a friend swear.
Grow up, and toughen up boys. There are proper issues out there in this world we live in.
Wonder what the girl would think if she was reading what you have to say about her ?
You know, one of the reasons I disliked the church so much was because so many liked to criticise how I lived my life without even bothering to find out how I actually did live it. They had double standards, "do as I say not as I do"
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to " let he without sin cast the first stone"
Of course, they all thought themselves perfect so kept throwing those stones.
They told me I should forgive their imperfections but they didn't seem willing to forgive me mine!
Doesn't matter anymore, I lost any trust or respect I may have had for any of them and am pleased to be away from it all.
All I'm asking is that you think very carefully about your motives. Being pleased with yourself for not swearing is one thing if you choose not to swear but why do you really think its not good to swear. If its because your holy book instructs you not to, do you think it right and proper to impose the same conditions on someone who doesn't share your beliefs. Would you like Hindu's or Muslims asking you why you do things that their beliefs consider wrong and perhaps helping you with what they consider your problem may be in order to correct you.
Why can't people just live and let live as long as their not hurting anyone ???
Know just what you mean there AU, church I went to was great place for the leaders, their friends and their families. A real hub of activities to indulge their interests, thoughts, passions and a fair amount of socializing amongst themselves. All the interesting stuff was for them. Everyone else quietly did the donkey work.
DeleteThere was no room for anyone not conforming to this hierarchy. If you were not part of the "in crowd" you were not entitled to an opinion. If your thinking and ideas were not in line with theirs, you were out. I thought churches were supposed to be for everyone, but apparently not.
Anon,
DeleteI think churches are for a certain type of person and that you and I probably aren't that type. Doesn't bother me anymore, I developed my own thoughts on the bible over the years and came to my own conclusions.
Atheists Unite: I'd be happy to answer the question you asked Tony before, and hopefully answer some other questions floating around consequently.
ReplyDelete"By the way, do you really think swearing is such a big issue that you need to ask people why they do it. It's questioning how they live.
May I be so bold as to ask why would you question someone's motives for swearing?"
No I wouldn't ask people why they do it - at least not without knowing them well and within good judgment. Using a swear word itself doesn't concern me and frankly isn't my business.
I might ask someone whom I knew well if they knew why they swore, to give them a chance to verbalise, explore and have someone listen to the issues on their heart. Hearing out their pains and frustrations would be my motive. Telling them what to do and criticizing doesn't even come into it.
Im intrigued as to why you think someone that swears has issues of the heart you think they may need to talk about.
DeleteUsual indications that someone has a problem are things like changes in behaviour such as someone is quieter or more chatty than usual. Spending more time alone or perhaps someone who doesn't normally drink or smoke very often has started to. They stop doing something they normally enjoy doing. Changes in behaviour are normally triggered by something even if its just some joins a gym to get fit. Some changes and reasons are quite normal and nothing to worry about like going to the gym, or perhaps someone is quieter and not socialising so much because they are studying for exams, have less money, started a new job and want to be alert and create a good impression. Sometimes there may be problems.
Swearing is really more of a habitual, mimicking activity. Perhaps a person grew up in a home where parents, siblings swear, work mates swear (building sites are well known for swearing ) or maybe friends swear. I would only consider a person that swears has a problem if the habit changes to either significantly more or suddenly stops, although this could be easily explained if someone has recently started working on a building site (lol) or used to work on a building site and now works in a bank (lol)
I really don't think that if a person is a habitual swearer it's a sign there is a problem but more just part of who they are.
I find it more worrying that you think it may be a sign someone has a problem than swearing actually being a problem for most people.i know some people think its disrespectful to swear in front of them and they are perfectly at liberty to express this. Quite often you get men who don't swear in front of children, women,old people, that sort of thing, rather like the girl apologised for swearing in front of you.
So may I ask what it is about swearing that makes you think it's a sign someone has an issue of the heart .